Northville educator uplifted by community support in wake of wife’s passing

During a luncheon following the inaugural Hope Scarves Golf Outing on Aug. 18, 2023, the inspiration for the event — 13-year metastatic breast cancer survivor Meghan Malley — delivered an impromptu speech emphasizing her desire to raise funds for continued research focused on the disease that she had been diagnosed with at the age of 29.

“I said a few words, then I handed the mic to Meghan,” reflected Mike Malley, Meghan’s husband and a widely-respected Northville Public Schools educator and coach.

“At the time, Meghan was going through some pretty serious treatment and she was very fatigued, but you never would have known it. By the time she was done talking, there wasn’t a dry eye in the place.”

Sadly, Meghan Malley passed away Jan. 8, 2024, at the age of 41.

Meghan was magnificent

An award-winning physical therapist at Livonia’s Recovery Project — a facility that treats people suffering from critical spinal-cord and neurological health issues, among other serious ailments — Malley had built an uplifting legacy of caring and hope that her family and friends will carry with them for an eternity.

Her death created a massive void in the life of her husband  (the couple grew up within a half-mile of one another and were high school sweethearts at Royal Oak Kimball), who was inspired by Meghan’s courage and perseverance on a daily basis.

While the hole created by Meghan’s passing will never be completely filled in Mike Malley’s life, he said the outpouring of love and support from family, friends and members of the Northville community since his wife’s death have been essential in his grieving process.

“A friend of mine handed me a card at Meghan’s funeral that best describes the incredible support I’ve received the past several months,” Mike Malley explained during a recent interview.

“In the card, my friend wrote something somebody had told him following a tragic family incident that happened in his life: ‘I hope you get whatever it is you need at the exact time you need it.’

‘Perfect for what I needed’

“That stuck with me because that is exactly what the Northville community, the Northville Public Schools community and the Northville High School baseball community have done for me, in a way that was perfect for what I needed throughout this past winter and spring, and to this day.

“I was able to return to school soon after Meghan’s death knowing I was loved and supported, but at the same time they let me do my thing. They struck a perfect balance. Somehow, they had the emotional intelligence to be able to figure it out, especially the kids.”

Meghan’s impact on others: ‘enormous’

An assistant coach for Northville’s 2024 MHSAA state championship baseball team, Mike Malley was touched beyond words by the way the team’s players greeted him upon his return to practice.

“I remember walking into the gym on my first day back during a morning workout,” Malley recounted. “Every single player came up to me and either gave me a hug, a fist bump or verbally told me they loved me. That meant so much to me.

“Honestly, I was astounded because when I was their age, I’m not sure if I would have been able to do that. The kids and their families have been nothing short of incredible.”

Mike Malley admitted it’s impossible to adequately describe Meghan’s impact on people she met — whether they were family, friends, Recovery Project patients, or complete strangers who were inspired by the blog she updated until her final days.

“In the eulogy I gave at Meghan’s funeral, I started by saying there was no way I could address the enormity of what Meghan meant to me,” Mike Malley said. “So I kind of distilled it down to a daily routine we shared.

“No matter what — bad weather, good weather, her feeling good, her feeling bad — we took a walk with our two dogs. We left our phones at home and talked the entire time; we connected.

“What struck me during those walks was that Meghan was the best person I had ever met at maintaining and keeping strong relationships with friends and family. She was an incredible communicator, which is something I’m inspired by.”

More grief, more support

Just weeks after Meghan’s passing, the Malleys’ beloved dog Grace died, adding another layer of grief to Mike’s life — and more reassurance from the Northville community.

Upon hearing the news of Grace’s death (and learning of the recent death of Meghan), one of Malley’s Northville High School history students handed him a card on which she wrote: “I’m incredibly sorry for the loss of your dog. There are no words for what you have gone through. Wishing you find strength and comfort during this difficult time. You are in my thoughts and prayers.”

“I mean, for a 15-year-old kid to be so thoughtful … it was just an amazing gesture,” he said. “That card really resonated with me, too, because that’s exactly something Meghan would have done for somebody.”

Not long after Meghan’s daunting diagnosis in 2011, she learned about the non-profit organization Hope Scarves, whose mission was fueled by women who had gone through metastatic breast cancer treatments sending scarves (due to the accompanying hair loss) to women who had recently been diagnosed.

Fantastic foundation

“Along with the scarves, the women who had already undergone treatments would send the newly-diagnosed women their story and they would become like mentors for each other,” Mike Malley said. “Meghan thought this was a beautiful idea and before long, she was a member of the organization’s board of directors.”

Meghan grew close to Lara MacGregor, the foundation’s founder, Mike shared.

“Lara was amazing,” Mike said. “She was great for Meghan. She took great care of herself, both mentally and physically. Lara was unstopped by the cancer in her life … until she was.”

MacGregor passed away in 2022 at the age of 45.

Funding vital research

During MacGregor’s tenure with Hope Scarves, the foundation shifted its mission from simply distributing scarves to raising funds for metastatic breast cancer research — a purpose that Meghan embraced wholeheartedly, Mike said.

“Getting a scarf was great and inspirational, but what people needed was more options so they could get better outcomes,” Mike said. “Hope Scarves started partnering with universities and organizations to enhance metastatic cancer research.”

The inaugural Hope Scarves golf outing, which raised close to $13,000 for the phenomenal organization, went so well, Malley’s cousin, Jim Callaghan, decided to spearhead an annual golf outing to raise funds for research.

This year’s event — which has been renamed the Meghan Malley Memorial Golf Outing — will be held Aug. 16 at Taylor Meadows Golf Course. To register to play — or for ways to make a donation without playing — click here.

So thankful for support

As Mike Malley talked about the fundraising outing, he reiterated how grateful he is for the support he has received in the wake of his hero’s passing.

“There are times over the past several months when I’ve thought to myself, ‘What if I didn’t have this support? What would the past few months have been like?’,” he said.

“What if my job consisted of sitting in a cubicle and looking at a computer screen all day and I didn’t have the relationships that this school community provides? I don’t know how that would have gone.

“I’m glad I don’t have to know that because I have felt completely uplifted by the people here.”

Ed Wright can be reached at 734-664-4657 or edwright@socialhousenews.com.